Sunday, June 21, 2009

Let's Be Real pt. 1

First and foremost I’d like to say Happy Father’s Day to all of the fathers out there, the ones who take care of their families, as well as the single parents out there, mothers and fathers alike. I was debating whether or not to post today because of the emotional attachment that I have developed beginning with this day just one year ago. My hesitance to address this aspect of my life is due to a number of reasons, but first and foremost I just don’t know if I’m ready. Once I begin to delve into this area, words may just begin to pour out of me and I might sit here and type for days, or I may not be able to even make it through the first half page. But here is my best effort.

Although this is not the actual beginning of the relationship timeline, June 15th 2008 was the day that I decided to embark on an amazing but very brief journey that would deeply impact me for the rest of my life.

Everybody can relate to that feeling that you get in the pit of your stomach, the butterflies or slight hint of nervousness when you are in the presence of someone that you have a special feeling for. Not necessarily the law of attraction, more so just the anxious excitement, similarly to a little kid doing any of a host of different activities. Some relationships weren’t always meant to be, they just happen. Some relationships don’t physically last forever, but the emotional and spiritual bond that you develop will always be safely tucked away in the deepest realms of your heart. I was very fortunate to experience this unique, one of a kind relationship for just over 12 months of my life from December 2007-2008.

A cordial invitation to dinner, followed by a welcome hug, and a kiss on the cheek was all it took for me to fall head over heels. I had been professing my love for a certain special lady to my best friend for over 6 months before there was ever even the slightest hint of a possible friendship outside of the confines of work. I made him a guarantee that by the end of 2008 I would at least let this special someone know my true feelings, if for nothing else than to get it off my chest. My friend took it a step further and calling out a trip to Jared’s for engagement rings. Matter of fact, I used to sing the Jared’s Galleria of Jewelry theme song many a day around her at work, just to illicit a response from Singz. After all, she had no idea to what I was referring, at least not yet.

The first couple of weeks was merely pure friendship, a couple of dates, and great conversation that would last for hours on end. It was around during the second and third dates that we both realized how strong our individual feelings were for each other. We were both hesitant in pursuing this further, for the obvious fact that we share a place of employment, and not only that, she was technically my supervisor and we also shared an office. Basically we were all up in each other’s business every day whether we really wanted to be or not, so we knew that if we moved forward with our personal life together, then we couldn’t mix business with pleasure. We both feared for our careers if any co-workers became knowledgeable of our situation.

Many people lean heavily against inter-office relationships for a variety of reasons, not necessarily right or wrong, just difference of viewpoint and opinion. At the time, I didn’t have a care in the matter because this simply hadn’t affected me before. As much as I can say that I wanted this to happen, and believe me I surely did, I never imagined it would actually become a reality. I vividly remembering praying often last summer just asking God to show us if this was his will for us. We’re we doing the right thing in proceeding with this relationship. The happiness and joy that we brought out in each other was unmatchable. It was around the first week of August that we decided there was no turning back. It was all or nothing for the two of us, and that was when I moved in with her.

We didn’t bother with the thoughts or cares of others, choosing to pursue our happiness together, regardless of outside perception. I can’t remember a time in my life when I was ever so thrilled with life, anxious for each day and night, wondering what might be in store for us next. You know you have developed something special with a woman when you can just look at each other from across the room, and know exactly what the other person is thinking and feeling without saying a word. I understand why so many married couples are often best friends as well. Not only do you experience the pleasure and enjoyment of each other’s company, but the higher levels of communication that you seem to develop as well. At that point in time I knew that I wanted to spend every day of my life with this person. Our plans however, don’t always coincide with the will of God. And this was a lesson for me that was yet to be revealed.

To be continued.............

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Ready for the rest of the